Best Friends

If you didn't know, my friends mean a lot to me. Community is a common topic for me to write about. I've written about the importance of the people in my life over and over and over again. What can I say? God's put some pretty amazing people in my life, and I enjoy bragging about them.
My two best friends have been on my mind a lot lately. I think it’s because now they both live away from me and because they’re both doing big things, and I wish I could be with them to cheer them on in person during this point in their lives. I’m very proud of both of them. As much as I wish I could convey to you how much I am proud of them, words are limiting. Sarah is following God’s call on her life to be a teacher, despite her initial fighting with God over that call, and Kate is on her way to being a doctor, despite the fear of the unknowns.
I am shocked daily, and no, I’m not exaggerating, that I at least to get to be a part of their lives because of the unlikely way I became friends with both of them and because I’m undeserving to have not one but two adopted sisters. Sarah forced her way into my life when I wasn’t very pleasant to be around and Kate found me not very pleasant to be around as I tried to force my way into her life.
It’s comical to see my friendology doctrine change of the years. In elementary school, I distinctly remember discussing with my best friend at the time about how it was impossible to have more than one best friend. It was something I believed in fiercely. The very grammar of the term “best friend” alludes to this fact. If you are calling someone your “best” friend, that doesn’t leave room for another. It means that this person is the most important friend you have, they are the peak of the friendship ladder, and there’s no room for sharing. You know the rankings go something along the lines of not using an adjective to using titles of “good” and ultimately “best.” If the island question were posed to you, you know the “If you were stranded on a deserted island and you could only choose one person to have with you, who would you pick?” question, there would be no hesitation to your answer. It would be your “best” friend. Just because I had a “best” friend didn’t mean that I didn’t like anyone else. It’s just that my “good” friends weren’t my number one pick to be on the island with me. Needless to say, this flawed ideology caused jealousy problems for me as my best friend in elementary school believed that you could have more than one best friend. Apparently, she didn’t understand grammar very well.
As I got older, I laughed at my childish stubbornness and silliness, but nothing ever challenged my childhood beliefs until college. Sarah had been my best friend for five years when I met Kate. After a few months, I realized that I considered Kate to be my best friend, but I didn’t know how to tell Sarah. Kate wasn’t replacing Sarah, but I didn’t know how Sarah would react to sharing her title. Sarah understood with no problems. Kate still didn’t know if she wanted the title. I was the only one stressing over this issue of two people sharing the title of best friend in my life. My friendology doctrine still unknowingly impacted my thinking, and although it was obvious to me then that I could have two best friends, it seemed hard to explain.
At the time I was reading The Shack, and it neatly explained my nonissue issue to me. The main character, Mack, was learning about the depth of relationships. Sarayu, a member of the Trinity, was attempting to explain to Mack the uniqueness of each relationship in our life, and the light went off in my head.

“I don’t understand, Mack hesitated. “Are you saying that we can respond to one another in colors?” “Yes,” Sarayu nodded, or at least that’s what Mack thought she did. “Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is not possible. You love each person differently because of who they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you. And the more you know another, the richer the colors of that relationship… Perhaps the best way you can understand is for me to give you a quick illustration. Suppose, Mack, that you are hanging out with a friend at your local coffee shop. You are focused on your companion and if you had the eyes to see, the two of you would be enveloped in an array of colors and light, which mark not only your uniqueness as individuals but also the uniqueness of the relationship between you and the emotions you’d be experiencing in that moment… But suppose… that another person whom you love enters the coffee shop, and although you are wrapped in the conversation with your first friend, you notice this other’s entry. Again, if you had eyes to see the greater reality, here is what you would witness: As you continued your current conversation, a unique combination of color and light would leave you and wrap itself around the one who had just entered, representing you in another form of loving and greeting that one.” (Young, p. 213-214)

The flaw in my young thinking was that I was trying to define each friendship in the same way, but with relationships, that’s simply not possible. God made each person in my life uniquely special, and our roles in each others’ lives are uniquely special too. My best friends were able to understand that truth, but I had a hard time comprehending that until Young explained it in the figurative way that he does.
Whatever the explanation, all I can say is that I am blessed. So blessed. These two love me unconditionally, a task I make as hard as possible for them. Even though I miss them terribly, as cheesy as it is, I’m thankful to have them to miss, because my life wouldn’t be the same without them- without their accountability, their companionship, their honesty, their depth, their love for life, their love for Jesus. God has used them in my life to teach me how to love by expanding my ability to love and challenging my selfishness. One, I love them beyond what I ever thought was possible to love people. Two, I can joyfully and confidently tell you that I have two best friends and have no qualm about it, which means I get double the opportunity to love and be loved.