"The House That Built Me"

If you asked me where I consider home, I’d have many answers for you. There is the house that I was born and raised in. I lived there approximately 20 years, and my parents still live there. Then, there is Home, where I plan on spending eternity- Heaven. Then there are untraditional places I consider home such as the church and K-12 school I attended. I have spent more time on that property in my lifetime than I have spent anywhere else. And there’s also the place I hope to one day call home- the gorgeous state of Colorado. But if I had to pick one specific location. Where do you feel the most at home at? That’d be easy. It is hands down my grandparents’ house.

Their house is, as Miranda Lambert says, the house that built me. Nearly every birthday, holiday, or major life event has been taken place in this house. That house is where I developed my love for dogs, especially big dogs.  It was also here that I had many conversations that challenged my beliefs in God, shaped my perspective on education, and forced me to face how I was going to handle the issue of race. The news was broken to me in that house that my grandfather on mom’s side of the family had died, and it was there that we gathered to mourn after his funeral.  I broke my first bone at that house, I fell in love with nature as I walked up and down many trails in the woods behind the house, and I learned the value of family.

In the past ten years, my grandparents started asking what we wanted to inherit when they died. Family members started claiming furniture, jewelry, and various family mementos.  When my grandma pointedly asked me what I wanted, I told her simply, “The house.” She started to correct me saying that there wouldn’t be anything left in the house and that it wouldn’t be the same. Even though I was in my early teens, I knew what I wanted and held firm with my desire. Years passed and my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. A few months ago, my grandma called me up knowing that her time was short. She wanted to know again, seriously this time, what I wanted. I told her a few items that were important to me, but that I was serious when I said I wanted the house.  She couldn’t fathom why I wanted the old place. All I knew was that I wasn’t joking and that the “old house” was the only thing that could keep me in the small town I had grown up in.

As my grandfather passed away unexpectedly and my grandmother deteriorated rapidly, plans were made and finalized. My mom didn’t give me specifics, but warned me to not hold onto the hope about the house. She was trying to tell me that, though not finalized, the house was going to be sold and the profit split amongst my dad and his siblings. My grandmother passed away and my parents went quiet. They had a good friend of mine move into the house “until further notice”, the outside was repainted, and things that were broken were fixed. I cried myself to sleep that night knowing not only had I lost my grandparents, I had lost my house along with all my memories and dreams.

The day before the will was read, my parents prepped my siblings and I not to react to anything and to be prepared for unexpected things. Again, I heard them saying, “Be prepared for the sale of the house.” As the will was read, there were a few unexpected surprises on my part such as my grandmother’s wedding ring, but the biggest surprise of all was the decision of the house. Apparently, at the last minute, my grandparents decided to go with an idea they had been contemplating with for a few months- leave the house to my parents and keep it as a meeting place for friends and family. I was so relieved in that moment that I literally started sobbing. Although I had known I wasn’t going to get the house, this was the next best thing.

My family is now starting the process of renovating and moving into the house. It will be weird seeing the house change, but it will also be really good as it starts a new phase. I’m looking forward to the many memories that will continue to be created there for many years to come. And maybe, just maybe, the house will be my own one day.