Foggy, Foggy Nights

This has been harder than I thought. I know that writing all this out has been good for me, but it's causing me to revisit moments I didn't even want to live through in the first place.

I know that this will be good. Really. Maybe I'm simply trying to convince myself. It will be healing, yet painful like ripping a scab off an infectious wound. Excruciating, yet crucial to the healing process.

It's taking so long, because I'm having a hard time finding the words. Something that's been a rarity in my life; however, it's been common over the past six and a half months. Instead, it seems as if tears have been a closer companion than words.

Tonight I'm borrowing from Max Lucado's "No Wonder They Call Him The Savior." It paints a portrait much better than I could.

"Tears. Those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our cheeks, and splash on the floor of our hearts... They are miniature messengers; on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. They drip, drop, and pour from the corner of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess...
The principle is simple; when words are most empty, tears are most apt." (p. 95&96)

"The fog of the broken heart. It's a dark fog that slyly imprisons the soul and refuses easy escape. It's a silent mist that eclipses the sun and beckons the darkness. It's a heavy cloud that honors no hour and respects no person. Depression, discouragement, disappointment, doubt... all are companions of this dreaded presence.
The fog of the broken heart disorients our life. It makes it hard to see the road. Dim your lights. Wipe off the windshield. Slow down. Do what you wish, nothing helps. When this fog encircles us, our vision is blocked and tomorrow is forever away. When this billowy blackness envelopes us, the most earnest words of help and hope are but vacant phrases...
If you have been in this fog, or are in it now, you can be sure of one thing-you are not alone." (p.115)

"He brings peace to our madness and comfort in our sadness. This is our God." -Chris Tomlin